THE MEANDERING INTENT

hooked on camaraderie
addicted to the love
if I could grind it up in bundles
it’d be the most illicit drug
and my fix would be
when I wish for dreams
that carve through magic worlds
and carry me up on my carpet
tearing down these fleshy walls

and I lose myself in music
when the art becomes abusive
it fits and starts yet still imparts
all that has become elusive

connected through these shows
and all these bros and all the noise
and I’m alive when I’m among
all the beauty, sound and joy

and the irony remains
despite all this outward sync
I’ve ruined some great relationships
to be alone with what I think

it’s a dark and sordid slope
when you’re staring at the wall
finding comfort in the room
you’ve built, drowning out her calls

and she beckoned
and she whispered
and then she hummed
and then she tapped
now she sings aloud
in silence
and she’s never coming back

define this moving on
you toss around with such an ease
‘cause all these moves are lateral
and feel more like a dis ease

all laced with coded language
each message calculated
all underlined with you
undermining my salvation

the void cannot be filled
it must be mourned and rebuilt
the impression that you’ve left
is a much too specific ilk

it’s sad and then it’s comical
when you try to force the mold
shoving her inside of you
and expecting it hold

still not sure of what I need
what I want or where I am
but I’m learning more and more
what doesn’t fit the plan

and I meander like this poem
back and forth from dark to light
swaying like a feather
intent to settle on the night